I have really started thinking about what is important in my life lately; moving to another country for a year with only one suitcase worth of stuff will do that to you. This of course has led me to think a lot about the people in my life that I can’t pack up and take with me (who are, of course, all more important than the stuff in my life).
I am so insanely thankful for the family and friends I have who have stuck by my side time and time again, and who support me when I do crazy things like sign-up to move to a third world country for a year. No matter how often I cry or fight with these people, or let life get in the way of seeing or talking to them often enough, when I do it just makes the world seem like a better place, and it is, at least MY world is, because of them.
It also has me thinking about some people who maybe aren’t as good friends as I thought, and as I said before, moving to another country can put things like this into perspective too. Don’t get me wrong, most people in my life are completely wonderful, but I do feel like I’ve let a few in who are less than stellar. This I will refer to as the toxic friendship. I had more than a few of these in High School, and felt I’d learned enough to avoid it. Yet, I’m coming to realize there are some toxic people out there who sneak into your life one way or another and you don’t realize what they are truly like until you have already let them in.
I am renown for being over-sensitive at times, and also can be accused of being too nice all the time. I think it is because of this I feel badly cutting these people out of my life. But you know what? This move makes me realize that keeping them in only takes away time from the quality people who really deserve it. Sure, they want to act like friends and play nice when it’s convenient for them and they’re in the mood, but for the most part they are way too insecure, jealous and self-centered to commit to anything that involves give and take, particularly any kind of real friendship. In fact I’d feel bad for them, because along with missing out on real friendships, I’ll doubt they’ll ever find real happiness.
Toxic Friendships: Goodbye and Good Riddance!